Dad of Divas' Reviews: Why are our socks vanishing?

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Why are our socks vanishing?

The Phenomenon
Every year, tens of millions of socks mysteriously disappear. The phenomenon creates social, economic and personal psychological problems that create an untold burden on society. Everyone seems to have a theory as to why one sock in a nicely matched pair often goes missing. Here are just a few:
  • Sock pairs have the same magnetic charge, causing them to repel farther and farther from each other over time.
  • The peculiar rotational speed and mass of the dryer causes a black hole to form that sucks socks into an alternate space/time continuum.
  • An obnoxious imp lives in your laundry room and steals them to annoy you.
As one would expect, all of these far-fetched—and, frankly, ridiculous—explanations are dead wrong.

That's why The Laundered and Orphaned Sock Society (L.O.S.S) was formed—to dispel junk science and wives tales, and find the real cause of “sock loss”

And the stark truth that we've uncovered through years of intensive research is that our socks are simply running away.

Yes, shocking but true. Thousands of candid interviews with estranged footwear have pinpointed the prevailing problem: It is us and, more specifically, our laundry equipment.

Through L.O.S.S., socks who have felt unappreciated and mistreated finally have a voice to make us aware of their grievances: overdrying, “load abandonment,” ironing, and sock puppetry, to name just a few.

All opinions expressed in this review are my own and not influenced in any way by the company.  Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Please refer to this site's Disclaimer  for more information. I have been compensated or given a product free of charge, but that does not impact my views or opinions.
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