Saturday, April 10, 2010
Book Review - Unleashing the Power of Parental Love: 4 Steps to Raising Joyful and Self-Confident Kids
A child's need to feel loved is as basic as a child's need for food! Yet surprisingly, many parents don't fully realize this. While a child may actually be loved by their parents, not all children feel deep down that they are loved. And when a child doesn't feel loved, they act out in many ways that can build stress in the best of families.
In Unleashing the Power of Parental Love: 4 Steps to Raising Joyful and Self-Confident Kids, Gary M. Unruh, MSW LCSW, an experienced child and family mental health counselor, presents solid parenting advice in a step-by-step, easy-to-use-right-away fashion. Based on his nearly forty years in clinical practice, Unruh has observed that for a child, truly believing "I'm lovable" is an essential life-sustaining need. According to Unruh, this "lovable" belief is acquired through the child feeling fundamentally good throughout his or her development -- particularly when differences occur between parent and child.
"The real power of parental love is to consistently focus on your child-s fundamental good -- the good within your child that is so abundantly apparent at birth," says Unruh. Although this is not always easy, especially when you are upset with your child, this is a critical moment. This is when a parent needs to focus first on the child's emotions and then on their behavior.
To successfully do this, a parent must first learn to keep their own emotions in check. That is step one in Unruh's 4 steps to raising joyful and self-confident kids.
Step 2 is start with your child's feelings first and the behavior second. Step 3 is establish behavioral expectations that will enable your child to be successful. And Step 4 is talk to your child, not at your child; avoid judging and negative comments; be calm; talk less and listen more; be brief; and acknowledge your mistakes.
A parent can feel triumphant when their child truly knows "I am a good, joyful, worthy person, able to attract caring, love, and acknowledgment of who I am from others."
Unleashing the unlimited potential of parental love through specific parental love behaviors equals your child establishing abounding joy and self-confidence. And isn't that what loving parents want for their children?
My Take on The Book
I know that children tend to look highly for the approval of their parents in all that they do and this book examines a number of tested ways which provides parents the opportunity to raise children that are not only happy, but also well adjusted and that hold high self-esteem.
In all that I do as a parent, I try to let my children know that they are loved. This is not always easy in any sense. On the contrary, especially when I am disciplining my kids, I wonder whether they feel the love that I have for them. There also are other times when I completely feel overwhelmed and know that I need to be able to continuing showing this love, but again, it is not always easy.
I truly enjoyed how straight forward the book was and how full of great information and resources the book was filled with. This book is definitely one that I plan to read a number of times to make sure that I am taking the most out of it!
If this book sounds like one that you would like for your own collection, you can find it on
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