Book Review - Human First, Leader Second: How Self-Compassion Outperforms Self-Criticism

About the Book
A self-compassion blueprint for leaders who are closed-off, constantly on the verge of burnout, and/or trapped in the myth of perfectionism.

Through this 6-step framework, leaders will learn that self-compassion is for the strong, to separate their title from their person, and how to care for themselves in order to care for others.

So many leadership and compassion books seek to remind leaders to “behave human” and treat those around them with care. But the truth is that leaders are human. They’re not playing at being human or calling forth their humanity on demand. Their struggle in marrying leadership and compassion stems from leaders ignoring self-care—the lack of compassion toward their subordinates is just a symptom.

Human First, Leader Second introduces leaders to the practice of self-compassion through a 6-step framework designed to ease even the most hard-headed and hard-assed leaders into thoughtful, and productive, introspection.

• Backward: Biography, Biology, Backstory
• Forward: Purpose, Values, Priorities
• Inward: Intentions, Feelings, Thoughts
• Outward: Intent, Actions, Behaviors
• Leeward: Self-care and Personal Accountability
• Wayward: Regret and Self-forgiveness

Offering strategies for a personalized exploration of self-compassion—and what works best for the individual—this book will help leaders grow awareness to the importance of self-care while debunking the myth that compassion equals weakness. Regardless of our title or influence, we are all humans first, who need compassion.


My Take on the Book

In this book, Massimo Backus presents an approach to leadership that centers on the power of self-kindness. Rather than viewing self-compassion as a weakness, Backus frames it as a crucial strength that enables leaders to be more effective and impactful. By encouraging leaders to start with themselves, he offers a fresh perspective that shifts the focus from external success to internal growth.

The book is both practical and insightful, offering strategies that are grounded in real-world application. Backus skillfully demonstrates that by nurturing oneself, leaders can cultivate the resilience and empathy needed to guide others more effectively. This isn’t just another leadership manual; it’s a call to action for leaders to embrace their humanity as a core part of their leadership journey.

What sets this book apart is its emphasis on actionable tools that leaders can immediately implement. Backus doesn’t just theorize about the benefits of self-compassion—he provides clear steps to integrate these principles into daily life. For anyone looking to evolve their leadership style, this book offers a great blueprint.

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