Dad of Divas' Reviews: Book Review & Giveaway - Beyond Seduction: Loving Without Limits

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Book Review & Giveaway - Beyond Seduction: Loving Without Limits


About The Book
Lisa Pankau, knows that marriage may be hard but a good marriage is by far the most satisfying experience that anyone can have.

In her book Beyond Seduction, Loving Without Limits she shares what it takes to create and achieve personal growth and a deeper and more profound bond between couples that can last a lifetime and make everything in life worthwhile..

She’s been married twice.  Her second husband Ed Pankau. was a well known investigator and author of the New York Times best-seller, Hide Your Assets and Disappear! He had never been in a monogamous marriage and she was his fourth wife at his age of 51. They had a good marriage (not without their own issues though) but he died unexpectedly. The loss of her marriage without her being ready for it to end was a huge factor for the reason why she wrote this book.

“It often happens that once you get married, you begin to take the other person for granted. But it doesn’t have to be that way.  It is not that difficult to maintain the honeymoon over that lifetime.”

Lisa Pankau explains how to recognize the needs and desires of your partner and set aside your own personal issues to be accommodating to his or her needs:

  1. Marriage does take work-it just doesn’t have to be “dirty” work
  2. Your communication styles may be different but the heart of the matter is “how are you best heard?” You must know your love language and the language that your spouse speaks for solid communication to work.
     
  3. If you are willing to give 150% to making your partner happy and they are willing to do the same for you, your marriage will flourish and grow to the deeper levels of love that most people never experience. The fact is that most people do not even realize that something deeper and more profound can exist!
     
  4. Sexual appetites, attitudes and fantasies are interrelated and can lead to a deeper and more profound bond. Sex is not a dirty word and should be openly discussed with a loving heart. Sex is a normal and integral part of healthy and enduring relationships as long as boundaries are respected.
     
  5. Trust, communication, being best friends, respect, and acceptance/unconditional love are the keys that create a successful marriage.
     
  6. Vulnerability is something that most people are afraid of and (unfortunately) never expose that tenderness to their partners. Only through vulnerability can your grow your love to deeper levels and strengthen your love bond.
     
  7. Unconditional love sounds very daunting, if not impossible; however, it is the glue that will hold your relationship together. Unconditional love does not mean tolerance of bad behavior, it means acceptance of your spouse as a human with the knowing that those things that may be upsetting can also be the things that bring you closer.
     
  8. Bedroom “Essensuals” are critical to the health and growth of any marriage. There are particular items that every couple should have in their bedroom to stimulate the health and growth of their relationship over the years.
     
  9. Date nights may sound silly but a weekly date night is preferred (no less than one date per month) and is critical to the growth of your marriage. If he is not “wooing” his woman and if she not “swooning” over her man, someone else will! The need and desire for love and affection never changes! Date nights are the best way for couples to “play” and enjoy each other.
     
  10. Love does not mean sex; although it can! Men are visually stimulated and women are more “emotional”.  Neither is right or wrong, it is just a fact of what our chemical composition reveals about our own humanity. Love is something that you do, not something that you have. They key is to accept and delight in the differences and explore and allow the balancing of needs to take place.
     
  11. Couples must treat each other better than they treat the people they work with, not worse. While your home should be your safe haven, your attitudes and demeanor toward your partner/spouse may be misdirected toward the one you love the most.
     
  12. There are times when there is hurt and pain. A successful marriage does not mean being “stuck” or unhappy. On the contrary, there are ways to enhance the love bond between two people even if there has been trauma in the relationship. If both people are committed to making the relationship work, it will work.
     
  13. The most significant aspect of life is love. Marriage is a precious gift that we are so graciously given. Some of us are blessed with longer marriages than others and some of us never have the opportunity to experience such a beautiful expression of love. There is no time like now to enjoy the one you love on the deepest levels of love possible as you continue to grow to new and deeper depths of love.
Relationships are wonderful and beautiful. They last when we take the time to cultivate them. 

About Lisa Pankau
Lisa Pankau grew up in Texas and Oklahoma, the middle child in a family consisting of three daughters. As a divorcee and a widow, she has experienced life at both ends of the spectrum – from the depths of dread and despair to the untold bliss of true love. A few years after her husband’s death, Lisa retreated to an island home off the coast of Honduras to heal and to reflect on the more important issues of life. She currently works as a developer on the island, simultaneously creating her own dream and helping others make their dreams a reality.

My Take On The Book
This book looks at relationships beyond lust and stability and tries to help the reader identify how they can stimulate a deep love and understanding of their partner.

The book was an easy read and the author bears much of her own soul to the reader. It helps when talking about these issues to understand what the author brings to the table per se and Ms. Pankau does this, and does it well.

The book provides specific ideas on how couples can increase the intimacy that they may share with their partner and how to help your relationship grow.

I found that the book itself made many references to what a woman can do, but it somewhat failed to reciprocate for what a man can do to assist in the relationship. This is something of a generalization, as there were many parts of the book that in fact were connected to both men and women, but others, specifically in parts that were more practical referred to how she should do something instead of how he can help her.

If this book sounds like one that you would like to add to your own little library, you can find it on Amazon!
 
Giveaway
How would you like to win a copy of this book? I will be giving away 1 copy to a lucky reader! All you need to do is let me know why you would have an interest in this book to be considered. The contest will run for one week and will end on February 21, 2010.

Bonus Entries:




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    This contest will run until February 21, 2010 at approximately 11:59 pm Eastern.

    Winner must be a resident of the U.S or Canada.

    Winners are chosen at random, if you want all your chances counted, make sure you leave individual comments, not all of them in one!

    Winner has 48 hours to contact me or another name will be chosen.


  • All opinions expressed in this review are my own and not influenced in any way by the company.  Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Please refer to this site's Terms of Use  for more information. I have been compensated or given a product free of charge, but that does not impact my views or opinions.


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    12 comments:

    Katrina said...

    I follow your blog

    ykatrina at hotmail dot com

    Katrina said...

    I could use this book because after being married 5 years any couple could use a little help to spice things up.

    ykatrina at hotmail dot com

    Katrina said...

    I have your button

    http://wakeboardingmama.blogspot.com/

    ykatrina at hotmail dot com

    Deb K said...

    I follow you on Twitter{Deb55106}



    deb55106(at)gmail(dot)com

    Deb K said...

    Please enter me in this great giveaway!!

    deb55106(at)gmail(dot)com

    Renee said...

    email subscriber

    Renee said...

    We've been married 9 years this March and always welcome a little advice on how to remain married another 9!

    Stephanie said...

    I google follow.

    Stephanie said...

    I would like it because I always want to keep working on my marriage.

    jceko77 said...

    email subscriber
    jceko77@yahoo.com

    jceko77 said...

    I believe my marriage of almost 8 years would benefit from this book
    jceko77@yahoo.com

    Dad of Divas said...

    The winner of this giveaway was (#2) Katrina! Thank you so much for entering! Please get in touch with me in the next 48 hours to claim your prize - dadofdivas@gmail.com

    Thank you all for entering this contest and for being a part of the Dad of Divas community!