Book Review - Just Conflict: Transformation Through Resolution

About The Book
Conflict is not the problem we think it is, says Dr. Mark Lee Robinson, author of Just Conflict: Transformation through Resolution (Epigraph Publishing). While most of us see it as a scary or deeply painful thing, Robinson urges us to view conflict as the potential for healing and for personal change. "I have seen people transform their lives simply by learning how to engage conflict in a creative way," he says. "There are simple and effective steps anyone can take that will resolve conflicts painlessly." Robinson outlines these simple steps to Creative Conflict Resolution in Just Conflict, an outgrowth of his work in service of nonviolence and gender equality, and his passionate belief that, while conflict is inevitable, the pain and suffering that stem from conflict are not. As he says, "Thinking in a new way about conflict can lead to happier lives and a more peaceful and just society."

Robinson knows that his conflict resolution principles are effective because he developed them while working with some of St. Louis' most violent men. "I was doing contract work for the Child Sexual Abuse Treatment Program of the Masters and Johnson Institute, and I was Clinical Director of a city program called RAVEN that does intervention with men who batter and who commit sexual assault, men usually considered the worst of humanity," he says. "In fact, I was often told I was naïve to think such men could change; basically, they were assumed to be hopeless." But Robinson refused to give up. "Through my years in the program, I realized a core issue for these men was the inability to handle conflict," he says. "So I developed my method of conflict resolution that actually works, even for this violent population. I realized that, if it can work for them, it can work for anyone."

In Just Conflict: Transformation Through Resolution (Epigraph), Robinson shares basic principles of conflict resolution that can literally change your life. "Conflict doesn't have to be a fearful or overwhelming experience," he says. "Instead, conflict can be the catalyst for profound transformation."

Just Conflict helps readers gain greater confidence about their capacity to name, address, and resolve any conflict. "Once you realize you can handle any issue that comes up in a relationship," says Robinson, "the thought of facing conflict no longer produces anxiety. Instead, conflict is seen as an opportunity for growth and greater understanding. The thing to keep in mind is that all conflicts can be resolved. In the process, we can change ourselves, our relationships, even our society."

Filled with inspiring stories of actual clients, Just Conflict is also an easy-to-follow manual that shows every reader how to:

• Remain calm and centered when facing conflict.
• See clearly what the conflict is about and where it's coming from.
• Address the conflict creatively and assertively.
• Create what you need without expecting or depending on others to change.

 While Just Conflict is a valuable resource for mental health practitioners, social scientists, and politicians-or anyone who deals with conflict in their profession-the book is really intended for ordinary individuals who want happier and more peaceful lives. "The first step of the journey to world peace begins at home," says Robinson. "Just Conflict shows all of us, layman or professional, the way to creating greater understanding and more compassionate relationships.

For more information on Dr. Robinson's work, visit Dr. Robinson 

A Conversation with Author Rev. Dr. Mark Lee Robinson

You worked for over thirty years with what some would call the lowest form of humanity: men who batter and who sexually abuse children. In fact, your experiences with these men resulted in your new book, Just Conflict. Did you ever get disheartened working with these men? 

I did, but it was the cultural attitudes about those men that I found so disheartening, not the men themselves. I was told continually that they were hopeless cases, and that basically I was naive to think they could change. But they can and do change. The principles of Creative Conflict Resolution that I formulated over those thirty years really do work-and if they can work for that population, they can work for anyone.
 
What did you learn from those violent men? 

I realized that the core issue for all of them was how they were handling the conflicts in their lives. There is a general misconception that such men love, seek, and create conflict, but the truth is that they were terrified of conflict because they only had one method of addressing it-by making the other person wrong. It was about dominance. When they learned to approach conflict in the spirit of win-win rather than I win-you lose, everything changed. They realized that when they created more of what they truly needed, everyone benefited.

How did you first get involved in conflict resolution? 

As a minister of the United Church of Christ I feel very strongly called to work for social transformation.  I began working in domestic violence intervention when I did contract work with the Masters and Johnson Institute in their Child Sexual Abuse Treatment Program, and as the Clinical Director of a St. Louis program called RAVEN that does intervention with men who batter and who commit sexual assault. I have long believed that greater harmony and greater justice are the result of individual personal change, specifically in learning to handle conflict in non-violent and creative ways. When I began working with men who batter and abuse it was clear I was dealing with the sharpest edge of what is actually a universal human problem.

What would you say is the main problem people have with conflict? 

When we believe that there are conflicts that can't be solved, it gives us the perfect excuse to avoid dealing with those conflicts-and we have unconscious permission to avoid personal change. The belief that there are insoluble conflicts gives us permission to stay the same and to avoid looking at the problem. But the truth is that there are no conflicts that cannot be resolved.

 Just Conflict outlines simple steps for peaceful and creative conflict resolution. What would you say is the most important key? 

The three As: Awareness, Acting on our own behalf, and Accountability. Sadly, we have tremendous negative cultural conditioning against all three. When we become aware that something is irritating or bothering us, the cultural voice whispers, "Just let it go, brush it off." If we try to act on our own behalf to redress an imbalance or identify a need that is not being met, we hear "Don't be so selfish." And the belief that we should cover our ass and never admit when we're wrong makes it difficult to be accountable for our part in a conflict.

Your book gives practical, simple steps for resolving conflict and transforming ourselves, our relationships, even our society.  

Yes, but just because the steps are simple doesn't mean they're easy. It takes effort to overcome our cultural conditioning and it takes self-discipline to practice the steps in everyday life. But the rewards are tremendous.

Is there support for people who want to approach conflict in a more creative way? 

I think a sense of community helps. I often tell people to read Just Conflict with a friend-it helps to have peer support. If you go to www.creativeconflictresolution.org and click on "community", or if you read the blog on justconflict.com, you can become part of an online community that encourages, helps, and supports one another.

Is there a next book in the works? 

Yes indeed: while Just Conflict is filled with inspiring stories and other important material, I'm planning a distillation that will be more of a straightforward how-to manual that anyone can use to begin the process of conflict resolution.

And what about upcoming workshops? 

Anyone in the St. Louis area is invited to my creative conflict resolution workshop on January 15 at the George Warren Brown School of Social Work. Although the program is geared toward social workers working as psychotherapists, and will give CEU credits, it is open to the general public. If we truly want to see a more peaceful and just world, creative conflict resolution is the key.


My Take On The Book
I have read a lot of books on Leadership as well as conflict resolution. Am I an expert, no, not by any extent, so reading this book, I found it interesting to look at the new approach that Dr. Mark Robinson has developed to sheds light on how we can grow as people as a result of how we deal with conflict within our lives. Dr. Robinson uses both theory and practical application to help the experienced and non-experienced see conflict resolution though different eyes. He also makes the material and concepts that he shares very easy-to-understand.

Dr. Robinson provides readers both personal and professional insights that provide positive impact on how you can live your life. We all have to deal with conflict on a daily basis, some will be minor and others major, so Dr. Robinson gives the reader tools to use when dealing with these to help all of us deal with this conflict one step at a time.

If this book sounds like a book that you would like to add to your collection, you can find it on Amazon!

All opinions expressed in this review are my own and not influenced in any way by the company.  Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider. Please refer to this site's Terms of Use  for more information. I have been compensated or given a product free of charge, but that does not impact my views or opinions.

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